I had no electricity last night or this morning. I haven't washed my hair for three days now. Today ... I just hit a wall. It's hard to explain. Other than my time with Noah, today I felt emotionally and physically exhausted. I began to think about the two weeks prior to my trip and how I hit the ground running to prepare to leave ... I boarded the plane exhausted ... flew half-way around the world ... landed and hit the ground running again. Each day has been full ... not one day of rest. All of it has caught up with me.
Crystal left today and all of that laughter has quietened. That leaves me sad.
To top everything off, Larissa and Pasha met me after the afternoon bonding and said we had a big problem. It seems the apartment building turned on the heating system ... water radiators ... and a faucet to a radiator was open in the living room of my apartment. Some of the apartment flooded and so did the two underneath it as a result. The owner told Larissa I (the AMERICAN!) had turned the faucet on and that I should be responsible for all the damage. By the time I arrived there, the owner and her husband were still there ... they were angry ... I assured them I never touched a faucet on the radiator, but they didn't believe me. Long story short ... I'm still in the apartment. It is possible I may have to move to a different apartment but I'm not sure yet.
Once everyone left, I broke down. I think I just need a good, long cry tonight and a good night's sleep. Tomorrow's a new day!
Before I sign off tonight ... I want to say thank you to those who send me "comments." This can be done by clicking on "comments" at the end of each posting. Reading this communication truly "makes my day," brings me so much joy, and gives me encouragement and added strength. I plan to eventually take this blog and bind it into a book for Noah ... the "comments" will be an added plus! One day, he can look back and read the sweet words written by dear friends and see how much he was already loved!
8 comments:
Jayne,
It's Saturday morning here and I am at school giving the SAT!!! I want you to know that I too am addicted to your blog-continually checking in to see what is happening next. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed hearing of your adventures to bring Noah home. I get emotional just thinking about what you are doing and how lucky that little boy is to have you. This all is a blessing and a miracle. Even though you are not going through the literal "birthing" of your child, you are going through the "birthing" in another way. In essense, you are experiencing the roller coaster ride of pregnacy- emotion, tears, fears, and the rest. Unfortunately, you are having to do this on the other side of the world and alone. I can't tell you how I hate that for you. I want to give you a hug, extra blankets, heat, water, and lots of junk food! Just know, you have lots of people that love you and Noah; we are praying for you, and giving you a long distance and electronic HUG! You are such a strong person! You keep plugging along:) Take care and GOD bless.
Dawn Phipps
Jayne,
Each day I have to check to see how you are doing and to hear how little Noah was that day. He is just simply a super cutie! Each day, when my husband comes home from work I tell him, "Jayne said ...." He has to look at the photos too.
This morning while reading your blog my heart just stopped. I wish I could send you a hug - so consider it so. I hope that you can be removed from that apartment and into something that has heat, etc. I know here in the U.S. things work differently...and I hope that the situation with the owners of the apartment works in your favor. They can not prove that you did anything (and I believe you haven't)...but you shouldn't be responsible of course. Your reaction is how I would have been. Sure wish your friend Crystal was still there!
You are in our thoughts. I hope the next time we read you're in a better place (emotionally and physically).
Hugs,
Eileen & Pat
Jayne,
I finally am able to respond. There was confusion with email address and password. Sorry it has taken so long!
The pictures are awesome!! You look so happy and so does Noah! I miss you greatly and Anna and I can't wait to meet Noah. Things here are hectic. I am helping out with the 8th grade basketball team and even though it keeps me busier than I would like, it is lots of fun. So when do you think you will be traveling back? Listen, you need to keep that smile on your face and remember how blessed you are to actually be there with Noah right now. The mountain top experiences don't ever come until we have made it through the valley!! Your valley is not far from over and your mountain top experience will be better than you could ever imagine when you get back home. We love and miss you greatly! You will now be hearing from me every day. you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Beth Gliatta
Jayne, I know you are going through a real tough time right now but keep the faith. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthenth me. Phil 4:13". Keep that in mind each day and before long you'll be back home with your little boy and all of this will be MORE than worth it. Think on the bright side....at least you don't have morning sickness : ). Keep smiling. Can't wait to meet Noah. Pam
Dear Jayne,
Big Hugs!!!!!
It's Saturday and I'm working on my new project but I have to stop because I just keep thinking of you. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers constantly.
Each day I look forward to reading your blog to see what your adventure with Noah brings that day!
As I wipe the tears from my eyes I will try to reply!
You know I'm a talker not a writer; that's why I soo
oooooo wanted you to have phone service..... so here goes........
There is so much love being sent your way. May the warmth from the thoughts comfort you as you and your love are bring comfort to Noah. Continue to be strong; yet know it is okay to cry; for soon the tears will be dryed by laughter and smiles.
He's worth every moment of your being there! He is going to bring soooooo much joy into the lives of so many people. I just can't wait to hug and hold him..... not to mention help spoil him!!!!!
Give yourself a big hug and one for the little guy from me and know you're loved! Counting the days til you're both home!
Nancy
aka (Aunt Irs) :-)
Jayne,
The important thing at the moment is that you take care of yourself so you will be well for Noah. I am so afraid you are running yourself down. Are you taking vitamins and getting plenty of rest? If not, you should so that you can maintain your strength.
We love you and pray that everything will be resolved in your favor. I know it is difficult "going it alone" but just hang on to the promise of a new tomorrow when you return back to the states.
Love from afar,
Gloria
Jayne,
I am so glad you got to go outside with Noah, I wish I could have been there to share the experience. He looks so cute in his "snow outfit" and I know he enjoyed getting outside. You are bringing Noah such amazing joy that he would have never known without you. You should be proud of what you are doing...You have remained strong and steadfast in the bleakest of situations and I admire your ability to maintain. I know first hand the conditions you are faced with but as you know, you are going to make it through this and you are going to survive because of the huge love in your heart and love for Noah as well as your strong faith in God. He never gives you more than you can handle. I know it seems like more at the the time but we all believe in you and are praying for you. Know, we are here for you, anytime, just a phone call away. Please get some rest and know that we are extremely proud of you and the courage you are showing through-out this experience. We all believe in you and love you! Our Prayers are with you! Hang in There!
BIG HUGS Jayne! You WILL make it. You are doing such a great job just continue to keep the faith. I know exactly how you are feeling just hang in there you and Noah are almost home!
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